I've never been a real fan of
GWAR. I don't have any of their albums, I don't know the words to their songs, and I couldn't even tell you the name of a song besides "Saddam, A Go-Go". That said, I've been waiting to see GWAR live since I was in high school, when a friend of mine who only listened to hip hop and R&B went to a GWAR show. I don't remember why he went but I do know the next day he wouldn't shut the fuck up about how it was the coolest thing he ever saw...and he hated metal.
On Thursday night I finally had a chance, after all these years, to see the mighty GWAR! I got to the show pretty early because I wanted to see
Municipal Waste and
The Red Chord. Shortly after I went up stairs and drank a beer Municipal Waste came out.
To be honest I don't know much about this band. I've heard a few songs and I know they're supposed to be true old school thrash. Plus you can't walk around the LES or Brooklyn for more then 20 minutes without seeing someone wearing a MW shirt. So suffice to say I was interested in seeing what they were all about.
They came out, the singer on crutches, and instantly started talking about drinking. Then they started playing and it was certainly old school thrash - I'll give them that. But it wasn't very good old school thrash. The riffs were pretty dumbed down and vocals weren't so hot.
About halfway through I realized what should have been apparent right away - this shit isn't serious! Municipal Waste is the kind of band I would be in if I still had the time and the skills. These are a bunch of drunk fuckers who like to have fun and play metal. Not just metal but the most hammed up metal they can. Every song is about drinking and mythical beasts - and it's pretty awesome if taken with a grain of salt. Hell, they even send a chick out to give beer bongs to the crowd, now that's taking care of your fans.
After MW it was time for The Red Chord. Now unlike MW I have been a fan of The Red Chord for a while. They play a cross of death metal and hardcore and it's pretty awesome. When the band came onto the stage I was pretty surprised by their general appearance. Actually it was the singer's appearance that stood out. The rest of the band were grizzly ass headbangers. But the singer was a clean cut frat boy looking dude with an uncanny resemblance to Ben Affleck.
But metal isn't about appearances it's about noise and The Red Chord brought the noise. They were pretty fucking heavy and the crowd had obvious mixed opinions. For every person cheering there was another booing. One guy up front kept yelling out "GWAR!" and flipping off the band. That started a back and forth between the guy and the band, which was actually pretty damn funny.
During the last song the whole band jumped off the stage and climbed up onto the barrier. They finished off the set with their guitars right in the crowds faces. It was a pretty cool way to finish up an awesome set.
Once The Red Chord packed it up the crew started setting up the stage for GWAR. It took a while to get everything ready, all the while I was fighting people off for the spot I held up front. I was really excited when a band of alien monsters took the stage. Just before the first song their was a ritual beheading which gave the crowd their first taste of blood. As the headless creep ran around the stage spurting blood all over the crowd GWAR ripped through their first song.
I was extremely impressed by how good the songs were. I was under the impression that GWAR was all about gimmicks but the music is pretty fucking good too. But the gimmicks are why people come to the show and it's obvious why. Who else has the guest appearances like GWAR? George Bush, Osama bin Laden, Hitler, The Pope, and even Jewcifer (Jewish Satan) - all hacked to pieces by Oderus and the slaves.
When Hitler took the stage he was accompanied by Jesus - who disappeared once Hitler whipped it out and gave the crowd a 3-minute money shot. Being that I was right up front I was getting douched by an assortment of fluids including piss, blood, cum, and pus. At one point a stream of something nailed me right in the chest and stayed there for about 30 seconds. I was completely soaked for the rest of the show.
Towards the end GWAR completed their journey through Hell where they met Jewcifer. Jewcifer is the Jewish Satan who looks like a huge robot with a star of David chestplate. Jewcifer had a very Woody Allen-esque voice, which was pretty funny. Oderus took on Jewcifer in an epic battle, which of course Oderus won.
After the battle a slave climbed up onto the speaker stack on the side where a huge cannon was mounted. The slave then began hosing down the crowd in an extra thick bloody goo. It was fucking awesome and the crowd looked like they were extras in a horror movie - which I suppose we were in a round about way.
As I walked home, soaked in blood from head to toe, I thought about what I just saw. GWAR might put on the best show ever, it's not just a concert it's full on play with bad ass metal as the soundtrack. GWAR Ruuules!!
GWAR vs. Jewcifer